Dreams Explained

Via the power of the internet, I've managed to unlock the true meaning behind two troubling dreams that I've had. I am, however, none the wiser.

Dream No. 1

I cradled an egg in my hand. I raised it up to the light, you know, to figure out what was inside. Then it began to hatch. Six turtles came out. I was freaked. I didn't know what to do. My next thought? Turtle soup. (Which was totally weird because I don't eat anything with a face.)

After consulting my everyday oracle, I learned that eggs are supposedly a good omen. The same, of course, doesn't apply to cracked eggs. Those, apparently, warn "of disappointment through unwisely placed trust." And turtles? This was what my everyday oracle had to say: "These strange creatures are a symbol of frustrated ambition due to hidden hostility; if you persevere, you may dispel the opposition; however, if, after a reasonable time, the obstacle remains, you should reassess the position with an eye to altering your aim or your approach to it." Can't a girl catch a break here?!?

Dream No. 2

I looked out the window, and I see a woman falling. I could make out a bloody child on the ground, being bundled up by the paramedics. After battling a massive bout of vertigo, I managed to look out the window once more and spotted five or six women leaping to their deaths.

More good/bad/confusing news on the dream-front. Leaping means "you will overcome your trials and tribulations through patience and perseverance." But wait a minute! Seeing blood in your dream signifies that you should "be prepared for a period of hard work against hostile forces." And here's the kicker -- an attack of vertigo in a dream warns "against being exploited by the opposite sex." Hello! Any form of exploitation by the opposite sex at this point in my life is considered a godsend. (Although I Frenchie and I have officially been dating three months now. Could he be, perchance, my exploiter-to-be?)