dreams of an obsessive compulsive

a few nights ago, i had this weird dream. i was at a party, and i was there to make a speech.

(sidebar: i guess this dream was in anticipation of my cousin patrick's wedding. i was tapped to become the "reader", you see. he didn't even ask me! i just saw my name on the invitation. "i'm doing what?!?" i screeched to no one in particular when i first unfolded the darn invite. anyway, i told him i couldn't do it, that i had terrible stage-fright, that i wouldn't recognize a bible verse even if it came up to me and bought me a drink. but he was all "you have to do it! your name's already on the invitation". crap.)

anyway, back to the dream. so i was at this grand party, about to make my speech, my date, actor chris noth, by my side. and i was having doubts about how to pronounce a certain word that i had to say. the actual word escapes me now, so let's just say it was the word "abu ghraib". is it abu guh-reb (as those senators called it at that hearing)? or is it abu grayb (as cnn calls it)? so mr. big was coaching me, thawing my frozen hand with his warm ones, basically calming me down with his soothing demeanor. but how could i really bask in all the lovely concern when this huge "abu ghraib" dilemma remained unsolved? so i left mr. big's cozy embrace and began wandering around the room in a pronunciation daze. and who did i bump into? why, my old boyfriend, actor hugh grant, of course! he eagerly sprang out of his chair and gave my arm a desperate squeeze. in his patented shy-british-boy way, he kept telling me that he missed me, asking for a second chance or, at the very least, a date. so i looked into his troubled sky eyes and said, "how do you pronounce abu ghraib?"

this dream is so not right on a couple of levels. first off, it's peppered with unattainable celebrities - this is probably because the current quasi-boyfriend doesn't deserve to be casted as the attentive date or sorrowful ex. but what i find even more disturbing is that, faced with two rich and famous bachelors, i didn't have the presence of mind to lure one of them (both of them?!?) into the coatroom and have my evil way with him before the alarm clock went off.